I lost an elderly friend yesterday. She was born six weeks after my dad, so I always felt a special connection to her. She was intelligent, kind, and creative. When I learned of her death yesterday morning, of course I was sad, but I also experienced immense relief and gratitude.

My friend gifted me with one of her paintings a couple of years ago. She painted this one in her 80s, after much of her sight had diminished. Summer Sun hangs next to our front door.

My friend had been in pain for many years – physically and emotionally. We’d talked a lot last year about Jesus, and she knew Him well, so my relief and gratitude came from knowing that now she is safe, she is well, and she is now living her very best life. She’s no longer in pain, has no more sorrow or heartache, no more tears. I imagine she’s already painting some masterpieces in Heaven, and that makes me extremely happy. I’ll see her again one day. I’m grateful for the Hope and Blessed Assurance we have as followers of Jesus.

My friend’s emotional pain here on earth was heartbreaking. She’d lost a husband and a son many years ago, and then became estranged from the rest of her family because of the way she handled their deaths. She tried reaching out many times over the years, but received little response, so she lived her life alone. She had a few friends but she’d outlived most of them.

Last spring, I had the blessing of helping her through some medical trials and served as her medical advocate. (I had to step aside in the summer though, as my own cancer treatments progressed. Other friends stepped in and cared for her until the end.) She was still fully in her right mind, and could speak intelligently on almost any subject, but she had trouble hearing, seeing, and getting around quickly (she still walked, just slower than her younger years.) Because of this, medical personnel treated her as if she were non-existent. For a year, they dismissed her medical concerns as “being old” and kept her in the hospital as long as insurance allowed but no one listened to any of us, no one listened to her, no one cared to find out. They dismissed her as old. They dismissed her as a human being.

Two weeks ago, after yet another hospital stay, in a different hospital with different doctors, they discovered an aggressive form of cancer that “had been there awhile.” This time she wasn’t physically able to care for herself, and although the doctors were told face-to-face (by my friend herself, by me, and by one of the other friends) that she was not able to take care of herself if she went home, they sent her home with appointments for follow up visits and pain medication. She died within 24 hours – all alone – and was found the next morning, on the floor. It appeared that she’d been trying to take some medication.

Advocates are a necessity in today’s world – medically, legally, financially. We shouldn’t have to go through life alone without someone advocating for us when we are unable. The medical world, the legal world, the financial world do not care about us as individuals – as human beings – they regularly chew us up and spit us out. Many of us can and should advocate for ourselves, but those who are unable to speak and act for themselves need someone who can speak for them. They need someone who will look out for their best interests, ask questions, care about what actions these entities are taking.

The elderly need advocates.

The mentally ill need advocates.

Children need advocates.

Abused spouses/partners need advocates.

Hospital patients, regardless of age or condition, need advocates.

If you are able and have an opportunity to be an advocate for someone who is all alone, please do so. Stand up for them. Speak for them. Protect them. Care for them. Love them. You’ll be blessed.

Loss, Hope, Advocacy

Random Freewrite Challenge

Summer Activities and Book Recommendations