An Overdue Letter
When I saw a few social media posts this morning reminding me that it’s #ThankfulThursday, I decided it was time to write a long overdue letter and share it with all of you.
Dear MercyMe:
I’ve wanted to write this letter for a few years, but never made it a priority. But after all that’s happened, I can’t not write to you.
Thank you for writing the songs you do. I know many of them are born out of your own trials and tribulations. I’m truly sorry for the pain you’ve experienced, but I’m incredibly grateful that the Lord is using you so mightily to help others through their own struggles, including my own.
Your song “Even If” was released the year my younger son was diagnosed with many more mental illnesses, when the first diagnoses were overwhelming enough. I resisted the song at first, because I didn’t want to / couldn’t / wasn’t ready to admit that there might be an Even If kind of answer to all my fervent prayers for him. But reality finally sunk in, and I found the Hope in your lyrics. I know God is able and I know He can heal my son. But even if God chooses not to heal him this side of Heaven, my Hope remains in Him because I know there’s a bigger picture. The song remains one of my favorite songs of all time.
Every time my son hurts himself or hurts others, the words of “We Win” speak to me and seems personal in one specific random way: the way you sing the word “towel” sounds like “tile” which is the way my son has always pronounced that word since he was a toddler. When you sing not to give up, not to toss in the towel, I feel like you’re speaking directly to him, to us, as you remind me that we do indeed win.
And then last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. During my lengthy commutes to and from treatments all year, I blasted the Lifer CD and sang my heart out every single mile. I danced along to “Happy Dance,” because the lyrics reminded me once again that regardless of my circumstances, or diagnosis or outcome, that we do indeed have a reason to get up! I was able to go into that chemotherapy ward each time with a smile on my face and a dance in my heart because your songs filled me with His love, His grace, His joy, His peace.
“The Ghost” took me by surprise and as I listened to it the first time, tears streamed down my face. The line, “I’m no longer afraid,” just slapped me in the face – in the best possible way. I’ve always been a medical scaredy-cat, but your words reminded me time and again that I didn’t have to be afraid. I’m grateful to say, now that I’m on the other side of cancer, that I honestly had NO FEAR all year long, not one ounce. None. God was with me, He carried me, He strengthened me, He sustained me, He covered me, He comforted me. He gave me an indescribable peace and even an inexplicable joy as I walked that entire journey.
Your songs, your message, your ministry were a HUGE part of that journey, so even though words aren’t adequate to express my immense gratitude for the power, for the relevancy, for the Hope conveyed through your music, I still had to let you know. Thank you for doing what you do.
Your forever fan,
Tracy Ruckman
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